Play's the Thing

Ask just about any kid what his or her favorite school subject is and almost every one will give the same answer - recess. Some might say gym but only because they associate it with the same ultimate feeling - that of playing. Even excellent students who enjoy learning will answer the same, much to the chagrin of their more academically oriented parents. To those parents I say "Come on - when you were a kid wasn't playing your favorite thing to do?"

We do seem to lose our ability to play as we age. Certainly our concept of play changes. I remember when I was around eleven or twelve losing my interest in dolls. My sister and our best friend acquired a couple of new dolls, Velvet and Cricket (they had hair that could be styled in short bobs or, when you pushed a button in their tummies, you could pull the hair out so it came to their waists). I was given a Chrissy doll of the same variety but found little pleasure in her. While Karen and Kathy happily styled their dolls' hair and made up stories and games to go along, I realized I didn't like to play with dolls anymore. Instinctively I knew I was growing up and getting too old for dolls and this knowledge saddened and excited me at the same time. It was right and natural that I move beyond dolls and childhood games but bittersweet just the same.

The good news is grown-ups still play, just diffferently. I recently listened to a podcast entitled "Play, Spirit and Character," in which Krista Tippett of "Speaking of Faith" interviewed Dr. Stuart Brown, who founded the Intitute of Play at the age of 63. He actually studies the science of play and has found great value to play behavior in animals and humans. Children, of course, benefit tremendously from play - it teaches them empathy, trust and problem solving, all the while developing their imaginations and their bodies. But as adults we still need play, perhaps especially so based on one of Dr. Brown's definitions of adult play - it takes us out of the moment and temporarily suspends our sense of time.

We grown-ups definitely are enslaved by the clock so anything that breaks that bond, even for just a little while, is something worth pursuing. Dr. Brown says there are consequences for adults who do not experience play, one of those being depression. I remember that I did not get enough play time as a young mother and I certainly missed it. I wasn't really depressed, but I was certainly more irritable and anxious. "Mom's night out" was invented for women, like me, who take motherhood a little too seriously sometimes.

As the kids have grown, however, play has re-entered my life, and none too soon. While I played with my kids when they were younger, some of it felt more like work for me. Older kids, though, enjoy more of the same things adults enjoy so their play becomes more like that of mom's and dad's. Games, for instance, have long been mutually enjoyed by our family. Board and card games are especially helpful in breaking the ice and becoming reacquainted with aunts, uncles and grandparents, many of whom are only visited with occasionally. Games of Uno, Checkers and Trouble alway warmed things up quickly. Today Phase 10, Scattergories and Apples to Apples fit the bill. No matter what the game, it accomplishes the same worthy goal - we drop our guard and becomes friends, competitors, playmates.

Recognized play, such as games, is only one source of fun and pleasure for adults, of course, so our play can be as intense as building miniatures or as simiple as reading a book. Anything that takes us "outside of time," Dr. Brown said, qaulifies as play.

With such a wide definition available, I decided to look at my life and see just how much playing I do. Happily, my playtime has definitely increased in recent years as the kids have become independent and I have had some extra time on my hands. Certainly reading is a crucial play activity for me, though since much of my reading is non-fiction I'm afraid it seems a little more intense than playing should. But since my non-fiction selections reflect some of my passions and interests - history, culture, biography and memoir - it still feels like play to me.

Playing computer Scrabble has become a passion of mine, one I have to limit or I could easily spend way more time than is good trying to beat "Maven," my computer opponent.

Listening to Yankees games on the radio can be fun, depending on who's pitching, lol.

Watching movies based on Jane Austen books is definitely high on my play list.

Walking with Madison, especially on the mountain trails near our house, is a good way to play. When she looks back at me with her tongue hanging out, her ears up and her eyes begging the question "Isn't this a blast?" I have to agree that it is.

Any time I spend with my sisters, either in person or over the phone, usually qualifies as play time.

And then there is my very favorite form of recreation: riding my bicycle. That is one thing that has not changed a bit since I was a kid. Put me on my bike and point me toward my favorite route and I am just about as happy as is possible. In fact, my bicycle rides are such an important part of my play life they deserve an entire blog - which they will get.

One last play activity I'll mention is that of watching my kids play. Now, my kids are getting up there in age - My son Dan is 20, Emily just turned 18 and Elizabeth will be 16 in July - but they still play and I love that they do. This past week the girls had a break from school and during the second part of the week, when the weather turned sunny and warm, they spent more time outdoors than indoors (which always does a mom's heart good). They have a nice group of neighborhood friends with whom they played kickball, knockout, and soccer, as well as taking walks to the ice cream store and riding up and down the street on scooters and bikes. I took a turn on the scooter myself a couple of times and it was just as fun as it was when I was a kid.

May they never get too old to play. May none of us either.